Without you I'm frozen
by ScifiSOS
Summary: Sequel to:Mine to take,Mine to Pleasure,Mine to love.Which is sequel to:Revenge Makes sex Sweeter.Which is the sequel to:Sexually frustrated. It hurts. I'm hurt. You're gone. No more warmth. I am frozen. I'm scared. What have I done? slash HPDM,readnrevie


'I lost my flame. I lost my light. I lost my life and...It was all because of me.' - Rens

_**Ya'll want sequels to my oneshots. I'm starting to think I'm more of an oneshot person than a chapter story writer. Then again maybe not.**_

_**The sequel to: Mine to take: Mine to pleasure: Mine to Love & -140 points for…**_

_**Which is the sequel to: Revenge makes sex sweeter**_

_**Which is the sequel to: Sexually Frustrated**_

_**Shit…that is a lot of sequels. I wonder if it'll fit in the description.**_

_**I've been noticing that whenever I load a document on fanfiction that some of the words disappear or little quotation makes. I have no clue why so when I'm editing I sometimes miss it. Sorry if I do. Apologizing in advice.**_

_**Title: Without you I'm frozen**_

_**I think it's me listening to music that brought that title on.**_

_**--**_

It hurts.

My heart hurts.

Why?

I realized my mistake.

_Flashback - -_

_I sighed. Yet again Harry wants to have sex. I bit back my moan as his hand worked miracles all over my body._

_I stared at the wall. We don't do anything else; I just want a normal relationship. Not one with nothing but sex._

"_Harry stop." I said. I was surprised he listened. His face looked worried. I wonder if it was because the tone of my voice. I sighed. _

"_What's wrong love?" Harry asked._

"_All we do is have sex." I spoke. "We don't go out, we don't just hold hands, and we just have sex…that's all we do."_

_Harry furrowed his eyebrows. "You don't want to have sex anymore?"_

"_It's not that. I just want other things too. We shouldn't just base our relationship on sex."_

_Harry seemed to be thinking. "It's just…it's easy for me to express myself through it." He said after a few moments. _

"_So? You could show that you love me in small ways too! You could hold my hand and-"_

"_I get embarrassed by it though."_

_My eyes widened. I frowned and pushed him away. "You get embarrassed being with me?!"_

_Harry shook his head quickly. "That came out wrong Dra-"_

"_DON'T YOU FUCKING CALL ME BY MY NAME!"_

"_Let me just explain lo-"_

"_NO! NO! NO! If you are so embarrassed by being with me then it's over!" I yelled, hurt._

_I saw his eyes widen, I felt the tears down my face. "W-What?"_

"_It is OVER! I don't want to be with someone who's embarrassed of holding my hand!"_

"_No! Draco-" Harry reached out for me. I stepped back. "DON'T TOUCH ME! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" _

_Harry's hand dropped. "I…" Harry sighed. "When you want to listen what I have to say just find me."_

"_Don't expect anyone then." I sneered. "You said enough…"_

_Harry gave me a look, it showed so many things. I just couldn't face it. He was embarrassed by me._

_Harry turned and walked out of the room. I felt myself fall to the ground. I let it happen, I just laid there, staring at the ceiling._

_He's embarrassed by me._

_-- Flashback end --_

It's been two months since then. I have been with at least three other people. Trying to make the pain go away. It's not going away.

Harry disappeared from the school after that day. Well…truthfully I never bothered to look for him. I didn't want to look at him or I'd break.

Blaise and the Weasley are basically avoiding me. I yelled at Blaise when he tried to get me to find Harry. Weasley slapped me too.

Pansy says I should date others, just to show myself what I don't have with them that I had with Harry.

She was right.

Those relationships were nothing like the one with Harry. The kisses…they had no…

No love.

No warmth.

Nothing but fake smiles and hidden tears.

Graduation was coming by soon. Pretty soon I'll be out of Hogwarts.

Where is Harry?

Where is he? I need to find him.

Even after I broke up with you, I can't get you out of my mind.

Everywhere I look is a memory of you. I close my eyes and I see you, smell you, taste you, and I even hear you in my mind.

I walked down the hall and smiled. These hallways where my screams echoed throughout the school.

I passed by our secret room. The first time you took me was there.

I walked in the room hoping you were there.

You weren't.

You are gone.

I'm so lost without you.

I sighed and walked out. I passed by many places that are embedded in my memory.

The places we made love. The stairway where I realized how much I love you.

I walked; I found a bench and sat on it. I stared blankly at the bushes of roses.

I miss my Harry, I miss my rival, I miss my lover, I miss my Gryffindor, I miss the man who took me, I miss the man who embarrassed me, I miss him. I miss him so damn much.

My eyes widened as I thought of something horrible.

What if he's found someone else?

I whimpered and hid my face in my hands.

Did you get tired of waiting for me?

Did you move on?

Is he kissing you right now?

Are you in arms other than mine?

Oh god, why was I so stupid? Why did I push you away? Why didn't I let you touch me?

I should have listened to you. I should have **wanted** to listen to you.

This is all my fault…

--

Graduation Day

--

Cold.

So cold.

Alone.

So alone.

I'm scared.

I want you.

I miss you.

Why don't I see you in the crowd?

I never found you.

I'm sorry.

I never wanted it to end this way.

I'm sorry.

I never thought I'd love you so much.

So much that it could kill me.

I never thought you'd disappear.

Disappear from my life.

I'm sorry that I pushed you away.

I wish I could say that to you and not my head.

The speech the headmaster was making ended and everyone threw their hats up.

I couldn't smile.

I can't.

It hurts when i'm not smiling at you.

I scanned the area. Where are you?

Please let me see you one more time. I don't care if your happy and with someone else.

I looked down to the ground. Everyone was cheering that they finally graduated while I sat there moping.

I heard a voice behind me gasp. "It's Harry!"

I immediately looked up to see Harry walking up to the stand. The headmaster stood. "I am pleased to say that Harry will be performing a song for us. It is his gift for us."

Harry walked up, didn't even look at me when he passed by.

You moved on…right? That's why you won't look at me.

I'm so disgusted with myself.

I whimpered. Pansy stroked my arm, I looked at her.

I heard a guitar start. I never knew Harry could play one. I looked up and saw that he was sitting down concentrating on the notes. He looked up and I was surprised that when he sang it rang through the hall. Oh yeah…a spell.

--

**When I see your smile,**

**Tears run down on my face.**

**I can't replace.**

**And now that I'm stronger, I have figured out,**

**How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul.**

**And I know I'll find deep inside me,**

**I can be the one.**

--

His voice is so beautiful. Oh god…I wish he could whisper in my ear again. I wish his voice was mine. I wish...

how I wished I was the only one to hear him speak.

--

**I will never let you fall. (Let you fall.)**

**I'll stand up with you forever.**

**I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)**

**Even if saving you sends me to heaven.**

--

Harry was looking around the crowd. Oh…if only you could be looking for me. I would be happy.

Even though I wouldn't deserve it.

--

**Seasons are changing,**

**And waves are crashing,**

**And stars are falling all for us.**

**Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,**

**I can show you I'll be the one**

--

I felt a gaze on me. Who is looking at me? It can't be Harry right?

I bet he would shake his head at me if he did.

--

**I will never let you fall. (Let you fall.)**

**I'll stand up with you forever.**

**I'll be there for you through it all. (Through it all.)**

**Even if saving you sends me to heaven.**

**--**

I saw emerald eyes staring at me. No it can't be at me…it has to be someone behind me.

But his eyes...they are looking directly at me.

--

**'Cause you're my, you're my, my-e-y-e-y,**

**My true love, my whole heart.**

**Please don't throw that away.**

**'Cause I'm here... for you!**

**Please don't walk away and,**

**Please tell me you'll stay... here!**

--

I flushed. He is staring at me. Oh god…Wait…I can't get ahead of myself.

I looked down. When I looked back up everyone was staring at me or sending glances my way.

He is looking at me! Only me.

Those emerald eyes, oh god, that sadness in them.

I did that. I did that, I hate myself for it.

--

**Whoa-oh!**

**Stay!**

**Whoa-oh!**

**Use me as you will!**

**Pull my strings just for a thrill!**

**And I know I'll be okay,**

**Though my skies are turning gray! (Gray! gray!)**

**I will never let you fall!**

**I'll stand up with you forever!**

**I'll be there for you through it all,**

**Even if saving you sends me to heaven!**

**I will never let you fall!**

**I'll stand up with you forever!**

**I'll be there for you through it all,**

**Even if saving you sends me to heaven**!

--

Harry stood and bowed. The clapping rang throughout the hall. Pansy smiled and nudged me.

"Draco, you have something good. Never let it go again."

I looked at her. Did she know something?

Harry put up his hand and everyone silenced. "May I ask Draco Malfoy to come up here please?"

I flushed when everyone turned to look at me again. I quickly stood up. I flushed even more when I dripped over my chair. I walked up there quickly. I found myself standing right in front of him.

Harry looked at me. He looked like hell. I imagine I must have too.

"Draco..."

I flinched, afraid of what he was going to say. I deserve it right? I deserve it if he yelled at me. If he told me he didn't love me anymore.

"I don't care if you're embarrassed by this but I think you should finally let me explain. I am going to say why I'm embarrassed to hold your hand in front of everyone and everyone will hear this…so it won't matter anymore…"

I looked up and him. I opened my mouth to speak but he shook his head.

"You don't know what you do to me. When you touched me I feel dizzy. When you speak to me I would get lose myself in your voice. I…was embarrassed of that. That I might show how weak you make me…I didn't want anyone to see that but you. I wanted to be weak only for you. I only wanted you to see that."

I felt tears fall down my face and I looked to the ground. Oh god this guilt. I was so stupid.

"These last to two months without you…hurt, a lot. I don't want to go through that again." Harry reached out and his fingers brushed my chin. I automatically looked up at him.

Oh god, why is he going down on one knee? He's not going to…is he…will he?

For me?

After all that pain?

Harry took my left hand and kissed it. His eyes staying on mine, his lips are warm. Oh god I missed them.

"I don't want to be without you ever again. Draco Malfoy….will you be mine forever and marry me?"

I started to tremble. I was happy, so happy. I don't deserve it but you're giving me happiness. You're offering me something I could never say no to.

"Yes." I felt myself whisper. God my voice is shaky. I'm afraid I'll wake up to find out I was dreaming. Harry smiled and took out a ring. It was so beautiful. I wanted to faint as it slipped on my ring finger.

Everyone was silent, some girls were in tears –apparently that counts Neville- and the boys were in shock or clapping.

Harry stood up and took me in his arms. "I missed you so, so much." He whispered in my ear. The spell was off so no one but me could hear him. I trembled and wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I am so stupid. I missed you. I love you." I held him tightly. I'm never letting go again.

Harry cupped my cheek with his hand and pressed a kiss on my other cheek. "I love you too."

I let my tears fall on his shirt. I looked at him. "Where were you these last two months?"

"I was learning how to play guitar."

I blinked and frowned. I pushed him away and crossed my arms. "You tell me to find you and when I go look you weren't there! You little jerk how can you make me walk around the whole freaking school just to find out you aren't even-"

Harry quickly covered my lips with his. I melted immediately. Thank god. His lips are still warm, he is still warm.

He is still mine.

That is what really matters.

--

Later – night

--

We just finished saying goodbye to all our friends. Together, hand in hand.

I looked at him. He was my lover again. I was trying to get used to the warmth again. I never realized how cold I was without him.

I was frozen.

He's going to melt me once again. He's going to hold me and burn through my ice cold soul. He is the only one who could do that either way.

Harry took me to our secret room. "This is the last time we'll see it. I think." Harry said. I nodded. He turned to me.

"You know…I was afraid you were going to reject me." he admitted putting his hands in his pockets. "I didn't know what you were going to say but I needed to find out if you still loved me."

I gaped. I shook my head. "I thought you moved on." I said. He looked up at me. He smiled. "I love you too much to ever move on. If I moved on I would be a fool." Harry ran a hand through his hair. "No one could move on after loving you as much as I do."

I smiled. I walked to him and wrapped my arms around him. Harry slouched a bit and I looked at him. "What's wrong?"

Harry just looked at me. "It hurt so much to see you with those other people. To see you kiss them." I blinked. How did he see that? Harry smiled. "You forced yourself to ignore me so much that you wouldn't even notice if I walked by."

I gaped. My face saddened. I hurt him so much. "I'm sorry."

Harry chuckled. "Don't say that. What happened has happened. We can't change it. What we can do is move on…together."

I looked at him. I put my cheek on his shoulder. "Can we…?" I knew I didn't need to finish my question for him. He knew. Hell, he knew me so well that he probably could read my mind.

"If you want too." He said. I looked at him. "I want to. I am not giving you up at all, not again. So I better get used to the packaged deal. Horny man and all."

He cocked his head to the side with a smile. I pressed my lips to his and we soared.

Harry James Potter, Harry **fucking **Potter is mine.

I, Draco Malfoy, once Ice Prince of Slytherin…belongs to Harry James Potter just as much as he belongs to me.

_**Nothing**_ will take him away again.

_**--**_

_**End of this oneshot. I wasn't planning on always making it all fun and games. I didn't put any lemon, sorry. I thought I'd keep it soft for this story. **_

_**I don't know if there will be a sequel to this. If there is it would probably be like…a week before the wedding and everyone is finding out exactly how many places they have sex on. Poor them. WOOT! **_

_**If anyone wants a sequel or has a request for a story I will be glad to do it.**_

_**Yes, I take requests. Whoever gives me the idea I would put their name on the main idea of the whole thing. I am not a person to like…steal others ideas. It's just wrong. Anyways if I do a sequel to this you will probably see it while you're looking for a good story. Have a nice day and I hoped you enjoyed this.**_

_**Song: Your Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus **_


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